Henry's Letter - 1864
The following letter has been transcribed from the original letter written in Henry's own hand on Januray 20th 1864, addressed to his mother-in-law on the death of his wife Philadelphia (Phyllis).
Dear Mother,
I have a duty to perform a duty which I scarcely know how to commence with, as it is so sudden a nature that I can scarcely myself realise the truth of it. I received your long expected letter to my dear wife on the 14th day of December last, but alas the dear one it was addressed to is no more, she departed this life on the 12th of December, two days before your (or your daughter Elizabeth rather) letter came to hand. I will begin and tell you all about it from the beginning. We have both been aware of the continued weakness that has almost imperceptibly been coming on my dear departed wife. Her health began to fail her almost as soon as she set foot on the shores and more especially since our eldest boy was about 16 months old, when she had a miscarriage after which inflammation set in and was very ill for two months. I was advised by our medical attendant to go up into the country for a change of air would be very beneficial to the health of Mrs Turner. Accordingly as you must be aware we left Camden which was a great loss to myself in a pecuniary way. But this I did not heed but the health of my dear wife I was anxious at any cost if possible. During this illness at Camden I was attending on her and the baby myself for six weeks night and day as I could not get a woman to give me satisfaction, during this and her confinements no one could make her anything as good as myself. During our short stay up in the country Mrs Turner’s health was certainly better and it was her constant wish and prayer that she be allowed to be the mother of another child as the doctor had told her she should not expect to bear more children and it pleased God to answer her prayers. I had occasion to leave home for a short period and had promised her to return on the tenth day, contrary to my expectations after leaving her I was detained but being lost in the bush and to my joy and her gratification I got home about four o’clock on the tenth day. Phyllis as was always the case was pleased that I had returned and bounded some 3 or 4 hundred yards to embrace me and to impart (that which alas she will do no more) a sweet kiss and a hearty welcome as I am so glad you have returned I have been so dull without you, and this time she had something to tell me that made her feel doubly happy. She addressed me thus I have something to tell you. What is it? You know how glad I am and she took my arm (after I had dismounted) and walked towards the house. As we did so Charles came running to meet us and I was to take him. Phyllis at this time and frequently after expressed a wish that this next child may be a baby a long time and not got off hands as Charles had done such was her love for young children and this very child is a baby now and is 19 months ago. Charles at this age would not allow anyone to fondle him or even to kiss him. A fortnight after this I unfortunately had my leg broken and which put my dear wife about very much and although I was on a sofa lying she would never leave me to go to her bed, but put her bed on the ground by my side night after night. About 4 or 5 months we left for Sydney my leg not having been set right and being still very weak, which prayed very much on her mind, our intention was to get the leg broken and reset, but it being done so long I was advised to let it remain, as I would be likely to get strength in time. At this time Phyllis’s health was but week it being the beginning of the hot weather was all against her as the heat had always tended to make her worse. As I had no strength in my leg to work at my trade I applied for a school. We stayed in Sydney 7 months and constant exercise in the Botanic Gardens and on the sea coast had somewhat revived Phyllis, but still there was something lurking about that she would not get rid of and she constantly grew more weak in her constitution. While in Sydney the second child was born. She got over it very nicely without the aid of a doctor although she was very weak. She left Sydney with the children intending to spend the week at her uncles, but on account of some kind of fever being among the children there, she had returned at once and her and her two children got a great wetting which made her very ill. I am taking you a great way about for which you must excuse me as I wish to give you an idea of her health in general. Since I had the pleasure of knowing her, her general symptoms where a pain across the back of the head where she received a blow from a fall on the deck of her ship in coming out, a flowing of blood to her head when stooping, languid feeling especially in her legs which gave out sometimes and she had to sit. She also suffered a great deal in her teeth. She had but few left that the dentist had not drawn, and lastly a very severe pain passing at times across the lower part of her stomach. Since the attack of inflammation from some or one of these pains she was seldom if ever free so that her life in this troublesome world was one of pain. But she often told me as long as she had me and the children by her it was all she cared for and her pain became a pleasure. Last year was a very trying one on account of the drought which lasted ten months and to all those causes we may attribute the continual decline of my dear wife and your beloved daughter. But her immediate cause was childbirth. For the last four months she had been a trouble to herself. She was unusually stout and I tried to convince her that it would be best to call in a doctor, which she had all along so much detested for three reasons. First, on account of the bad usage she received at the birth of her first child. Second, economy, and third the distance to fetch him. She had engaged a nurse three months before one who was much recommended but alas she did not understand the duty which I have found out to my loss. On the evening on the 11th December 1863, she came out in the garden to me and told me she did not know how to sit stand or lie, she took my arm and I went into the house with her. I lay down on the sofa and Phyllis laid her head on my breast kneeling on the floor. After sometime the silence was broken by her telling me how much better she felt during this time. The girl had put the children in bed and now we all three was sitting in the sitting room the rest of the evening. About 9 o’clock I read a portion of scripture and prayer as had been our custom since we were married and we still delayed to go to bed and we got to speak of things and times gone by until 11 o’clock drew on. I had been sleeping in the sitting room with our youngest (Henry) for a month past while Phyllis and the girl slept together. But this night something seemed to change. Phyllis did not like to leave me and returned to me. I think the third time and each time gave me a kiss saying she did not like to leave me, but howsoever she did and about 12 o’clock she called me saying she was so ill I had better get the nurse. I first of all called the neighbour and before ten minutes had past the baby was born, as fine a child as ever was born (a girl for which we had both much wished). I got the nurse there in about 20 or 30 minutes and with two other women (neighbours) I thought there would be plenty of warning if the doctor was required, but they let her lie until about 6 o’clock and then told me I had better send for the doctor. But I went myself and was absent about 30 minutes but when I returned the one I so much loved was gone never to return. Before I went, or at least about 4 o’clock, I went into to see her and gave her a kiss, she then almost unable to speak she said in a few minutes “give me another kiss my dear” I did. She then said with all the fervour imaginable “God bless you”. These were the last words addressed to me by my dear wife. We had been married nearly five years and these years had been spent in one unanticipated feeling of love on both sides. Not a word had ever past between us to mar a moment’s happiness. We confided everything to each other. Phyllis was so good a manager I never contradicted her in anything and I always found her plans to answer well. She was indeed without a doubt a good, kind loving and a faithful wife, a fond and good mother. Thus I have lost one that I shall never be able to replace and this I am afraid will be a severe blow to you as I am sure she must have been a good child and affectionate daughter. Her birthday was the very day a week before her death. I then wished her many happy returns of the day. What a week was going to bring forth, thus we see the words of scripture too true “in the midst of life we are in death”. The dear baby she had left behind has been out to wet nurse for four weeks and I could not have her out any longer. We have now had her home ten days but she is very ill with the change of food. She is named after my sister as Phyllis and myself agreed it should be Edith Somers. I hope and trust it will live, but at present there is but little hope. Charles and Henry are pretty well although they have been ill through eating unripe fruit. I send you enclosed our likenesses as taken on the 4th July 1863. I have no more to say at present than Phyllis was buried on the following day after her death, the weather being so very hot it was impossible to keep her longer. She lies in a beautiful spot in the Richmond church yard and as soon as possible I shall erect a neat stone to mark the place and tell the truthful story. You need not fear but that your daughter well done for as far as mortal could do, and I will see that her dear children are brought up in a proper manner and I have to thank God this consolation that I have not got her I have a part of her. So no more until I hear from you. Hoping you are well and that Betsy is married and doing much better than she did with her former husband.
I remain, your bereaved and sorrowing son-in-law,
Henry Turner
Ch: England School
CornwallisMtRichmond.
I have a duty to perform a duty which I scarcely know how to commence with, as it is so sudden a nature that I can scarcely myself realise the truth of it. I received your long expected letter to my dear wife on the 14th day of December last, but alas the dear one it was addressed to is no more, she departed this life on the 12th of December, two days before your (or your daughter Elizabeth rather) letter came to hand. I will begin and tell you all about it from the beginning. We have both been aware of the continued weakness that has almost imperceptibly been coming on my dear departed wife. Her health began to fail her almost as soon as she set foot on the shores and more especially since our eldest boy was about 16 months old, when she had a miscarriage after which inflammation set in and was very ill for two months. I was advised by our medical attendant to go up into the country for a change of air would be very beneficial to the health of Mrs Turner. Accordingly as you must be aware we left Camden which was a great loss to myself in a pecuniary way. But this I did not heed but the health of my dear wife I was anxious at any cost if possible. During this illness at Camden I was attending on her and the baby myself for six weeks night and day as I could not get a woman to give me satisfaction, during this and her confinements no one could make her anything as good as myself. During our short stay up in the country Mrs Turner’s health was certainly better and it was her constant wish and prayer that she be allowed to be the mother of another child as the doctor had told her she should not expect to bear more children and it pleased God to answer her prayers. I had occasion to leave home for a short period and had promised her to return on the tenth day, contrary to my expectations after leaving her I was detained but being lost in the bush and to my joy and her gratification I got home about four o’clock on the tenth day. Phyllis as was always the case was pleased that I had returned and bounded some 3 or 4 hundred yards to embrace me and to impart (that which alas she will do no more) a sweet kiss and a hearty welcome as I am so glad you have returned I have been so dull without you, and this time she had something to tell me that made her feel doubly happy. She addressed me thus I have something to tell you. What is it? You know how glad I am and she took my arm (after I had dismounted) and walked towards the house. As we did so Charles came running to meet us and I was to take him. Phyllis at this time and frequently after expressed a wish that this next child may be a baby a long time and not got off hands as Charles had done such was her love for young children and this very child is a baby now and is 19 months ago. Charles at this age would not allow anyone to fondle him or even to kiss him. A fortnight after this I unfortunately had my leg broken and which put my dear wife about very much and although I was on a sofa lying she would never leave me to go to her bed, but put her bed on the ground by my side night after night. About 4 or 5 months we left for Sydney my leg not having been set right and being still very weak, which prayed very much on her mind, our intention was to get the leg broken and reset, but it being done so long I was advised to let it remain, as I would be likely to get strength in time. At this time Phyllis’s health was but week it being the beginning of the hot weather was all against her as the heat had always tended to make her worse. As I had no strength in my leg to work at my trade I applied for a school. We stayed in Sydney 7 months and constant exercise in the Botanic Gardens and on the sea coast had somewhat revived Phyllis, but still there was something lurking about that she would not get rid of and she constantly grew more weak in her constitution. While in Sydney the second child was born. She got over it very nicely without the aid of a doctor although she was very weak. She left Sydney with the children intending to spend the week at her uncles, but on account of some kind of fever being among the children there, she had returned at once and her and her two children got a great wetting which made her very ill. I am taking you a great way about for which you must excuse me as I wish to give you an idea of her health in general. Since I had the pleasure of knowing her, her general symptoms where a pain across the back of the head where she received a blow from a fall on the deck of her ship in coming out, a flowing of blood to her head when stooping, languid feeling especially in her legs which gave out sometimes and she had to sit. She also suffered a great deal in her teeth. She had but few left that the dentist had not drawn, and lastly a very severe pain passing at times across the lower part of her stomach. Since the attack of inflammation from some or one of these pains she was seldom if ever free so that her life in this troublesome world was one of pain. But she often told me as long as she had me and the children by her it was all she cared for and her pain became a pleasure. Last year was a very trying one on account of the drought which lasted ten months and to all those causes we may attribute the continual decline of my dear wife and your beloved daughter. But her immediate cause was childbirth. For the last four months she had been a trouble to herself. She was unusually stout and I tried to convince her that it would be best to call in a doctor, which she had all along so much detested for three reasons. First, on account of the bad usage she received at the birth of her first child. Second, economy, and third the distance to fetch him. She had engaged a nurse three months before one who was much recommended but alas she did not understand the duty which I have found out to my loss. On the evening on the 11th December 1863, she came out in the garden to me and told me she did not know how to sit stand or lie, she took my arm and I went into the house with her. I lay down on the sofa and Phyllis laid her head on my breast kneeling on the floor. After sometime the silence was broken by her telling me how much better she felt during this time. The girl had put the children in bed and now we all three was sitting in the sitting room the rest of the evening. About 9 o’clock I read a portion of scripture and prayer as had been our custom since we were married and we still delayed to go to bed and we got to speak of things and times gone by until 11 o’clock drew on. I had been sleeping in the sitting room with our youngest (Henry) for a month past while Phyllis and the girl slept together. But this night something seemed to change. Phyllis did not like to leave me and returned to me. I think the third time and each time gave me a kiss saying she did not like to leave me, but howsoever she did and about 12 o’clock she called me saying she was so ill I had better get the nurse. I first of all called the neighbour and before ten minutes had past the baby was born, as fine a child as ever was born (a girl for which we had both much wished). I got the nurse there in about 20 or 30 minutes and with two other women (neighbours) I thought there would be plenty of warning if the doctor was required, but they let her lie until about 6 o’clock and then told me I had better send for the doctor. But I went myself and was absent about 30 minutes but when I returned the one I so much loved was gone never to return. Before I went, or at least about 4 o’clock, I went into to see her and gave her a kiss, she then almost unable to speak she said in a few minutes “give me another kiss my dear” I did. She then said with all the fervour imaginable “God bless you”. These were the last words addressed to me by my dear wife. We had been married nearly five years and these years had been spent in one unanticipated feeling of love on both sides. Not a word had ever past between us to mar a moment’s happiness. We confided everything to each other. Phyllis was so good a manager I never contradicted her in anything and I always found her plans to answer well. She was indeed without a doubt a good, kind loving and a faithful wife, a fond and good mother. Thus I have lost one that I shall never be able to replace and this I am afraid will be a severe blow to you as I am sure she must have been a good child and affectionate daughter. Her birthday was the very day a week before her death. I then wished her many happy returns of the day. What a week was going to bring forth, thus we see the words of scripture too true “in the midst of life we are in death”. The dear baby she had left behind has been out to wet nurse for four weeks and I could not have her out any longer. We have now had her home ten days but she is very ill with the change of food. She is named after my sister as Phyllis and myself agreed it should be Edith Somers. I hope and trust it will live, but at present there is but little hope. Charles and Henry are pretty well although they have been ill through eating unripe fruit. I send you enclosed our likenesses as taken on the 4th July 1863. I have no more to say at present than Phyllis was buried on the following day after her death, the weather being so very hot it was impossible to keep her longer. She lies in a beautiful spot in the Richmond church yard and as soon as possible I shall erect a neat stone to mark the place and tell the truthful story. You need not fear but that your daughter well done for as far as mortal could do, and I will see that her dear children are brought up in a proper manner and I have to thank God this consolation that I have not got her I have a part of her. So no more until I hear from you. Hoping you are well and that Betsy is married and doing much better than she did with her former husband.
I remain, your bereaved and sorrowing son-in-law,
Henry Turner
Ch: England School
CornwallisMtRichmond.